I BELIEVE KINDA SORTA

Ani ma’amin, Ani ma’amin

Be’emuna Shlemah

Beviat hamashiach, Ve’afal pi sheyitmahmehva

Im kol zeh, achakeh lo

Bechol yom sheyavo.

“I believe with perfect faith in the coming of the Messiah, and, though he tarry, I will wait daily for his coming.”

This is the song Ani Maamin, “I believe”.  It’s based on the 12th of Maimonides (1138 to 1204) 13 articles of faith.  It’s a song that I learned when we celebrated Tisha B’av in camp, so that was a long time ago.  I sometimes think that we celebrated it because it was the only Jewish holiday that happened during camp.  Certainly it didn’t fit with the rest of what we did as a “secular” Labor Zionist organization. I put secular in quotes because I’ve long believed that Labor Zionism was a Messianic movement.

I actually don’t believe—at least not literally. Yet I found myself singing this song as I wandered in the woods during Tisha B’av. 

I don’t believe literally in a Messiah. I don’t believe in a Messianic age. I believe in the possibility of spiritual progress, certainly for individuals and maybe for groups. But for humanity as a whole, are we any more spiritually developed than our pre-literate ancestors? I doubt it. I am confident that we have progressed technologically and can do things that were unthinkable even 30 years ago. But that only means that we can accomplish ends faster and more thoroughly--it says nothing about whether the ends are moral or not.

Francis Weller says that we are entering the long dark. He believes that our current systems are collapsing, both our social systems through which we organize our human interactions and obviously our ecological systems are collapsing. We’re in for a really difficult time AND Weller believes passionately that this can be a necessary  prod for our spiritual growth.  I’ve been listening to him talk about this in a series of recordings called “Entering the Healing Ground” and there’s a book by that name I haven’t read. 

Here’s how it ties in to my experience wandering in the mosquito infested woods. The long dark is going to change everything for a lot of species.  Some have already gone extinct because of human action, and millions more will; it is a great tragedy and a source of enormous pain.  Large scale death for both humans and other species seems likely. 

And yet I believe in the possibility that enough of us can utilize the offering that is the long dark to emerge more spiritually developed.  Ani ma’amin, I believe, certainly not with a perfect belief, but I believe.