ON AMPLIFYING DISSOLUTION
One of the core principles in going through dissolution is to amplify the dissolution, assuming that you can handle it. Why? Because even if you can handle dissolution, we are all tempted to climb back up out of the soul canyon into the safe world that we know and haven’t finished leaving behind. So Plotkin teaches us to amplify our dissolution.
How? He offers us a myriad practices. The first five seem more like clusters of practices or purpose of practices. The last five are more specific practices. Here’s the ten described in Chapter 4 of Journey to Soul Initiation.
Grief Work
Full Bodied Experience of Emotions
Surrender to Deepest Longing
Relinquish attachment to outcomes
Romancing the World and Dwelling in the Wild.
Most difficult Letter
One Way Portal
Into the Wild
Mandorla
Threshold as Door
I want to add one more: be public to supportive people about what you are going through—it makes it harder to back out. I was talking to my coach and he said you’ve been very vulnerable in being open in going through the dissolution. And I do feel a little bit naked (is being a little bit naked like being a little bit pregnant? I don’t know). But it is OK because I know no one here is going to jump on me, tell me to get my act together, shape up, get on with my life. Of course, it helps to be my age when I get a pass for any responsibilities and it certainly helps that I don’t have to get up and go to work.
I can still feel the temptation to join boards. It would be a good way to meet people and work with them. It would be in my comfort zone, that’s for sure. I even had two conversations about two different boards this past week. I don’t think I exactly initiated them, but looking back at it I probably said some things that led directly to people asking if I would be interested. We all want to be wanted.
I told someone I felt guilty about saying no to the offers. I feel like I’m, to date myself, bogarting the joint (look it up on Google if you don’t get it) by withholding my talents. It’s an interesting conversation to have with myself.
I remind myself that my job is to hang out in the middle while I let go of the old. Dwell in the betwixt and between. Amplify the dissolution by talking about it, by grieving the old, by working to experience my emotions in my body, something I’d much rather not do—there are days when numbness definitely has its appeal. Trust in the world and cry into the grass and the trees.
